Most of us believe love is something we can see, taste, touch or hear… that it is something that happens to us. We wait for it, search for it, and believe we need it to be a fully complete person. We desire it so desperately that we cannot awaken to our true nature until we create and sustain it in our lives. We romanticize it, have neurochemical responses to it, fear it, and often avoid it. And yet it is our entire reason for being in a body.
The truth is that love has little to do with what happens to us. Love is what we are! It is the ideal outcome, and the motivating force, of the actions and intentions we put into our relationships. A relationship is an agreement people make to witness and help each other in some capacity and within a specific form. Following through on this agreement requires that we give our love to another.
Love is not something to receive – love’s only requirement is that it be given. The way we do this is by remembering that love is giving more than we get. In fact, any type of relationship is about giving more than you receive.
Life consists of a series of moments passing by, and as the song says we “don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone.” It makes sense to want each moment to be the absolute best it can be, but if we simply expect that what comes to us will always be good - without also being committed to doing all that we can to influence the moment, we soon find that each moment is equal to our participation in it. And participation requires more of us than waiting, expecting, wanting, demanding or judging.
Studies in Quantum Physics have shown us that any field of interest is under the direct influence of the viewer. What this means for our discussion is that if, while experiencing a series of moments, we have an expectation that this moment will result in some specific outcome, it greatly increases the likelihood that it will. I can’t say that life will always show up the way we expect it to, there may be other variables that we are, or are not, aware of. (We can’t control everything!) But we do exert influence on what happens by our very presence in body, thought, or deed.
It is also important to remember that those we are in relationship with are also influencing each moment, and we are all influencing each other, possibly in much more dramatic ways than we can even imagine. Even with all this influence, it is easy to believe that we have very little to do with what happens. Try to remember when you get caught in the belief that you are powerless over a situation, that you are the common denominator within the series of moments taking place as your life.
So, we know that love is vital to our very nature, is something we do, influences every aspect of our lives, and is a direct result of our actions. So why does love continue to elude and mystify us? Why do we feel such an overwhelming desire for this experience that we want and need so desperately? Even in the midst of our yearning, if we stop and allow ourselves to go deeper into this question, we realize that it isn’t that we are looking for the experience of love outside of ourselves, but that loves real desire is seeking to express through us!
If you desire an intimate relationship is it that you are looking for someone to love you, or is it that you want to express love to another being?
To let go of desire and attain fulfillment, we must act the way we would act if we already had our beloved, acting as if…. By keeping ourselves separate, always wanting, we create the distance between us. This distance is equal to the strength of our desire.
This is easy to demonstrate. Think of this… Love is your True Nature. If you allow love to express freely in and as you, where would the love be? The love would grow, strengthen, and fill your life. If you accepted that the love you experience in life is a direct result of the love you give, that you and love are not separate, and that the love you are seeking is already yours, how much more freedom will you realize in your life? What more could you want?
If you experiment with this idea, allowing love to express freely in your life, I know that you will soon realize that what you desire is already yours.